Call me Auerbach

Or not. Mimesis, good, my first meme, well, it had to happen eventually. Radio Oracle, I used to call it, and it was excellent for predicting the present. Thank Crazy as the source here. Ask the question, put the music player on shuffle, see what happens. And, remarkably, I didn't cheat. Most unlike me.

1. How does the world see you? :Wumpscut: Embryodead. Oh jesus. that's what I get for this particular album, mentioned one late night on KALX, bought from the bargain bin at Amoeba Records too many years ago, and showing up as a darkhorse in the bands-with-punctuation-in-their-names game.

2. Will I live a happy life? Leaving Las Vegas, Sheryl Crow. I'll take that as a no, then.

3. What do my friends really think of me? Yesterday Yes A Day, Jane Birkin. Pretentious, I think, or obscure.

4. Do people secretly lust after me? Oh! Darling, The Beatles. Bring it, world, and welcome to my tale of lust and leaving you under the guise of not doing you any harm.

5. How can I make myself happy? Yes, Anastasia, Tori Amos. Could we be any more mixed on that answer, oh iTunes oracle? "Show me the things I've been missing..."

6. What should I do with my life? Panic, The Smiths. Gee, thanks.

7. Will I ever have children? Original of the Species, U2. Commenting on that seems hazardous.

8. What is some good advice for me? Rock Steady, Sting. Hmm. What about the panic?

9. How will I be remembered? heroin, Velvet Underground. OK, iTunes, now you're out and out messing with me. Lou Reed's TWO gallery exhibits of his photographs are lame, lame, lame. But he's Lou fucking Reed.

10. What is my signature dancing song? Bad Girl, Madonna. Not terribly dance friendly, and it just makes me want to smoke.

11. What do I think my current theme song is? Patience, Pat Metheny. iTunes is talking to my friends, now, which I personally think is cheating.

12. What does everyone else think my current theme song is? Overlap, Ani Di Franco. Now things are being swapped out of sheer cussedness.

13. What song will play at my funeral? Devotion, Smog. Why not "Dress Sexy at My Funeral?" No, I have to get "There are some terrible gossips / in this town / With jaws like vices / And eyes like drains / There are some little weasels / In this town. " Everyone will be offing themselves at my funeral. Perhaps I should be flattered in advance.

14. What type of men/women do you like? Men: Gold Sounds, Pavement. Women: The Future With Hope (Sample and Hold Mix), Nobukazu Takemura. I'm feeling transparent.

15. What is my day going to be like? little one, Elliot Smith. Sheeeit. I'm staying in, tonight, before I end up stabbing myself in the heart.